Wise Words of a 15 year old Self

This was me. 

This is still me.

I love,

Love.

10th Grade Oral Report

Presented to Mr. Madsen

Love in Siddhartha

For my oral book report I chose to read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. This beautifully crafted story tells the tale of a young Brahmin seeking enlightenment. Hesse subtly mentions how the role of love changes through out the search of Nirvana. In Siddhartha, love appears in many different forms: emotional, physical, requited, lustful…

Through the different ways love appears and difficulties love poses to Siddhartha are essential to him to accomplish his search of being free from suffering. He is able to understand that one must be able to love all to achieve Nirvana.

The first time love appears is when Siddhartha “had begun to feel that the love of his father and mother, and also the love of his friend Govind, would not always make him happy, give him peace, and satisfy and suffice him.” (3)

As he came to realize this, Siddhartha decided to leave his father and reject his father’s care and love and instead join the Samanas, wandering ascetics and hope to find enlightenment through this lifestyle. At this point, Samanas who reject all feeling and empty themselves, Siddhartha perfects the Samanas ways and thus feels no emotion and has perfect self control. However, he judges seeing the other Samanas that this path cannot and will not ____ along his search of enlightenment. Gotoma, the Illustrious One, radiates peace mystery and love. Siddhartha realizes what he wants and awakens to the fact that so far he has never seen things for what they are and opens up to all, including love. 

He soon finds a lover/ teacher, Kamala, in town. Kampala teaches all aspects of physical love and the importance of love. Although Siddhartha has feelings deep within him for Kamala the he states: “‘You do not really love me—you love nobody. Is that not true? ‘ ‘Maybe’ said Siddhartha wearily. “I am like you. You cannot love either, otherwise how could you practice love as an art? Perhaps people like us cannot love. Ordinary people can— that is their secret.” (59) At this point, Siddhartha is incapable to give and receive genuine love between anyone and prevents him from achieving spiritual realization. 

Siddhartha is finally able to feel and accept love although it proves to be quite a challenge. Siddhartha had fallen in love with his stubborn and disrespectful son, whom he had inherited when Kamala died. Siddhartha’s son’s love was unrequited but Siddhartha “love him and preferred the sorrow and trouble of his love rather than happiness and pleasure without the boy.” (96)

Alas, the boy runs away and Siddhartha’s love for his son becomes a test of his wisdom, for Siddhartha almost diverges completely from his path of enlightenment. “Siddhartha, had become completely like one of the people, through sorrow, through loving. He was madly in love, a fool because of love.” (99) However, after great sorrow Siddhartha finally learns to accept that love comes in all forms and all must be acknowledged. Through Kamala and his son, Siddhartha has learned to love the world and accept it instead of rejecting or resisting it. Siddhartha finds that he now has all the elements to achieve enlightenment and has learned his last task: to be capable to love and “his Self merged into unity.” (111) 

Overdue and Late Relief

SCHOOL'S OUT
SCREAM AND SHOUT
~HS musical

SEMESTER'S DONE
THREE TWO ONE

BLAST OFF

Procrastination at its Best Test

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FIPIuw5KXY

This is what I came up with:

A red, opaque, cube, small/medium size (8x8x8")
A wooden ladder, right next to the cube--- the cube acting like a step
A white, wild horse with the ladder leaning against it as well
A single flower in the horses' mouth, or 3 by the horses ear--- I was torn
A storm far far far away and non-threatening.

Analysis from test:

Not a large ego, private, relatively strong friendship bonds that are very close, preference of wild relationships, and relatively ready to have 1 or 3 children, and quite stress free.

Self-analysis:

Not a large ego, open/ transparent, friendship bonds, some strong, friends first relationships, COULD tentatively have children, definitely not wanting now, and pretty stressed due to finals but lack of care makes me less stressed and it's summer right now.

(I couldn't make the storm seem far away)

Obsessive Planning

Got my whole academic life planned out
#atleastitsastart
#proudandcolorcoordinated

AS OF NOW- Saturday, May 28th, 11:59:03 PM, 2016

Biology Major            ---------->  Biology Liberal Major
Environment Minor    ---------->  Environment Minor
____________          ---------->  Psychology Minor

Best of all: I still can go  to Queensland (up to a year if I want!)
Everything JUST fits *.*

#sobasicallyicantfailanything

Standardized Education- a rising epidemic

I am FAR (very far) from being an expert when it comes to the educational system, however, luckily enough, I have had the chance to experience it. I was extremely fortunate in two ways. Number 1) I received my education BEFORE the Common Core State Standards were implemented (2014-2015) and number 2) I had the chance to go to a Waldorf School. However, like almost every kid in this generation, I did have to go through the awfully pain-staking duty of taking standardized tests.

Simply put, I do not comprehend the Common Core State Standards.
While yes, I do understand that this will, supposedly, prepare high school graduating students better for the 'real' world and university, have the education curriculum be comparable to international standards, equalize the playing field and promote "higher- level" thinking skills, and I quote:
             "Students will no longer simply be allowed to come up with the right answer. Often times they must give an answer, state how they arrived at that conclusion, and defend it." 

Now, don't get me wrong, I do support some these goals (to varying degrees). What I do not understand however, is how this will be accomplished through standardized testing.

Standardized testing will only exacerbate stress levels of everyone involved in the education system. There will be even more pressure on students to perform well, which will in turn reflect on the teacher, and furthermore the school. From my experience, it will not help a student how to solve a problem, learn how to think, but will only test the capacity of the students' ability to take the standardized test. One of the things that worries me the most was that the Common Core was mostly developed by "academics and assessment experts—many with ties to testing companies." Another was reading that the curriculum was structured from the top grades to the bottom ones. This means the whole system is based on the wanted outcome of the student after Pre-K- Grade 12 and everything below was adjusted accordingly. While initially this may seem logical, that's just not the way, as a species, we operate.

We are humans, we grow, we move, we learn, we think, we evolve--- in vastly different ways. We aim for our goals in a forward trajectory, wherever and whatever they are meant to be.

WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE STANDARDIZED

An example of common core math that completely baffles me: 


http://teaching.about.com/od/assess/f/What-Are-Some-Pros-And-Cons-Of-The-Common-Core-Standards.htm

http://www.rethinkingschools.org/archive/27_04/edit274.shtml

http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2014/10/23/the-science-of-the-common-core-experts-weigh-in-on-its-developmental-appropriateness/#7cdb056a77cc

Post-midterm-haze

I'll have the

1) Sunny side up eyes, scrambled brains, and bacon legs

please.

[First bite of relief: YUM!]

[Second bite of anxiety: Was it really that good?]

[Third bite to the finish: Whatever~ It's food.]

How does one think anymore?

Today I had a revelation.
I'm not as smart as I thought I was. I've become lazy, mentally.

People will 100% deny this~ once again say I'm putting myself down. But the truth is, deep inside, I've always thought that I'm smart/ intelligent/ motivated, whatever you want to call it.

But today, I realized, I don't think anymore.
      ~~~~Thinking, problem solving, logic!

I have forgotten how to think.

It's something to exercise, stretch, use.

It's something I've lost in University.
University, where information is hurled at you in every direction and dimension.
"Fake it until you make it" rings loud and clear in my position at the moment.

My brain hurts and it's time to sleep.
I have a midterm tomorrow.

...How does one do this thing called thinking?